Mighty To Save

2008-10-01T00:32:00.003+08:00

Awww u spoilt the surprise cos i read the entry. And yes, everyone is suddenly so healthy, but i guess all study and no exercise makes us "worried" and everyone is a flurry to run 5 laps round the track when previously we groaned at 2 laps. So ionic man!

Anyway jia you for your IS lol, 2 more days and you can like toss it out of your "To-do-list" ^^ Must do a good job ar! Will be praying for you =)

Sorry bout last week and stuff, things jus got really haywire...Gimme me some time kay? I'll try and meet you this week though. Hope you're doing fine! And b4 i forget punching bag nice ba. Can hug when u're sad, beat up when you're mad. (Rhyming couplets! Rawr) haha and its goooooddd therapy if you're stress too. Hahaha, but seriously i think my dad/mum will faint if i ever bring a punching bag home Lols.

Melissa's birthday

2008-09-29T22:26:00.003+08:00

For Mel's birthday (:

I was wondering what to get for you actually[."] Hahas, then... I found this on your bloggie x) shall put this here to remind myself xP

"Material wishlist for birthday( so ppl won't give me useless stuff i'll throw away! Kidding, the thought counts=)
1. Starbucks voucher...why? Because i have to study....Zzz
2. Punching bag...I always wanted one, theres no place to hang it up in my house, but if someone gives it to me, i might be able to coerce my dad into doing sth( but i really don't think there's space for me to hang it anywhere. Sigh, But i WANT one... stubborn la)
3. A blue-green(aqua marine color) tee shirt...I have one shirt with such a color but it has a weird cut. i bought it to stare at the color...@_@ Or a nice light(not those dark or those super light or luminous) purple shirt.
4. Whatever you wanna get for me. (After all the thought counts, and i'll appreciate it.)"

Hahas, Number 1 seems like the best option to me ^^ OPS, am I like, spoiling the surprise for you? O.o LOLS, then again, you might not read this. Cause we haven't been using this blog for such a long time. Hahas, see, our last entry was March 13th! hahas~ x_x

I was laughing at the punching bag. (Sorry lahs x_x) LOLS, cause today I was walking around school then I saw this notice that said, "Feel stressed?" (It's on the way to the lt3 & 4 that we lit students often go to) Then one of the options was to grab a punching bag or something Hahas xP

One of the suggestions was to go running. Went running today (: Decided that keeping fit was good. Isn't it ironic? How we all try to pon PE & find excuses to skip it but now, when PE is gone I see quite alota people exercising on their own accord. (Including the weirdo me xD LOLS) I saw your classmates running today too! Seow Peng they all. Siti (She prefers to be called Hyun Ae) was playing badminton with Sijie. & then her badminton racket was SO OLD that it stained her hands! I was like LOLS, burst out laughing. (OPS, like abit laughing at others' misfortunes)

Tee Hee, IS is going to be handed in this thursday! I'm SO LOOKING FORWARD to it! Finally, to be free from the misery of doing IS (: Feels like a huge burden lifted off my shoulders. was getting tired of changing the drafts anyway (YAY no more IS for Chloe^^) Shall treat myself or something after handing it in. Meanwhile, work ensues to correct it & make it the best it can be.

Okies lah, I've slacked enough blogging x_x Go continue doing my IS already (: Ciao~God bless x)

^^

2008-03-13T18:19:00.002+08:00

Heys we havent been using this blog 4 such a long tym! O.o

I read ur blog not 2 long ago... [."]

& erR- I really wana encourage u but then.. I dun reali noe how *sighs*

I really hope tat God will help u get past these tough tyms...(: I noe He can

I pray that you will have e strength, wisdom & patience to study for the progress test tomorrow.

God, I pray that You will bless my shepherd and give her the wisdom needed & although we have less tym compared to those who do not believe in You, I know that You will not let us lose out. We have gained so much more through knowing You, a purpose in life & Your never-ending and selfless love. & becoz we have You, anything is possible. God, please give my shepherd strength, please let my shepherd do alright for this progress test tat is really stressing her out and really driving her to her limit... God, every gd grades tat she gets she can glorify Your name. God, I really hope that she will turn to You during these tyms of stress and unhappiness and vexation & I know she will find comfort in Your arms. I thank You in advance with faith, God. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Okies (:

Anyway thanks 4 praying 2 me at metamorphosis yesterday ^^ Although I still havent gotten my tongue yet... [."] seriously it's ok lahs ... X_X duno if tat's e correct mindset tat I should haf. LOLS x) I dun think so.. -.-

Currently, I think it's quite ok now. Although I really want to experience the Holy Spirit's promptings, coz then I will be able to reach out to so many more people at the correct tym when they need God most... Somehow.. I think I nid more tym? Maybe God will gif it to me when He feels tat I'm ready .___. hahas~

Coz yesterday at metemorphosis they mentioned Godtube so today I went to check it out. & I watched "A letter from hell." & I felt so O.o after watching... I feel quite bad coz I nvr really persist in spreading the gospel. UGH x_x as in, I give up quite easily & get deterred easily ): *sighs*

I think I muz do sumthing more wif regards 2 evangelising. I really hope God will help me along in this... Coz I am still very very O.o in explaining stuff. *sighs* although I alwaz try my best & leave everything to God, maybe my best isnt really my ultimate best -.-"

oh well~ x_x gd luck to me then [".]

You jiayou & dun stress urself out.. (: studies r a part of life every1 has to learn to juggle. Sumtyms I get pissed too wif work & studies & cca & church & spreading God's Word & spending enuf tym wif ppl to SOW & all tat, & suddenly have so many responsibilities. SIGHS but then is ok lahs, once I lay everything b4 God I tend to be able to look at things in a less dark or serious n mundane light. Then I find meaning in everything I do ^^ really makes life so much better. & somehow I feel that whenever I lay my duties & tasks b4 him when I feel overwhelmed, i feel so much more organised & more calm to deal wif all of em. Yahs, so I try 2 remind myself tt when I feel stressed, I shud try to relax & talk to God. I think all of us r lidat 1 lahs~

So trust in God. He will watch over you all the tym xP forever and ever (:

HmM

2008-02-17T20:33:00.000+08:00

I-N-S-E-P-A-R-A-B-L-E
"Watch out! You nearly broad-sided that car!" My father yelled at me. "Can't you do anything right?"Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle."I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving." My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt. Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back.At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts.

Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do about him?Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess.The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky -- he survived.

But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did.I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind.

But the months wore on and God was silent.A raindrop struck my cheek. I looked up into the gray sky. Somewhere up there was "God." Although I believed a Supreme Being had created the universe, I had difficulty believing that God cared about the tiny human being on this earth. I was tired of waiting for a God who didn't answer. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages.

I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered. In vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, "I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article."I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs -- all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons -- too big, too small, too much hair.

As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.I pointed to the dog. "Can you tell me about him?"The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement. "He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow." He gestured helplessly.As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. "You mean you're going to kill him?""Ma'am," he said gently, "that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog."I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision.

"I'll take him," I said.I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch. "Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I said excitedly.Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. "If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it!" Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples. "You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!"Dad ignored me. "Did you hear me, old man?" I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp.

He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal.It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne. Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends.

Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church.

The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life.For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article, Cheyenne's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter, his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father, and the proximity of their deaths.And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.

=============END=============

2008-02-11T06:14:00.000+08:00

Yes, its like 6.13am in the morning. Guess why i'm on the computer? Cause i thought there was prayer meet and so i woke up early! Lol, anyway did i every tell you? When you're tempted DON"T stay and fight with it, but run away from temptation, because imagine if u stay and say "I'm strong i can fight temptation" you will eventually give in to it. But if u run away, you choose to stop thinking about the temptation but instead dwell on God's word, then you won't be so easily tempted. Yup. And sometimes i think analyzing the bible when we read can be really tiring and confusing especially the fact that sometimes you won't understand parts of the bible. So instead of spending so much time analyzing, just read it. And pray to God, that if he has anything to say to you, that it will impact you. So even as you casually read it, you will automatically realize and analyze the text at places. Maybe you should try this better. But still, whatever suits you is fine =) I'm so gonna be late if i stay on any longer blogging. So byes, be back ltr or 2morrow. Haha Jia you okay?

hmM

2008-02-11T00:12:00.000+08:00

To...Sheppie,

A bit sian recently... Lyk got a lota work 2 do... Spent a lot of tym wrapping gifts 2dae -.- quite upset & angry wif myself 4 being so bad at plannin my tym!!!!! UGH

Now I'm sitting in front of my com trying 2 type my lit essay but having no inspiration on how dramatic irony brings out the character of Othello and Iago. -.- sian =.=

HmM

I took out e parchment (you say, God says) & hung it at my window. Was reading it as I felt sian looking at the pile of my work 2 do. & I felt abit encouraged. Then I prayed for a short while. But somehow, din reali help very much. So now I'm lyk -.-"

diaos -.-

*sighs

I feel lyk sleeping actually ZzZzzZz

looking at e "z"s I juz typed makes things worse now... LOLS =.=

I was thinking about tat day wad u taught me at shepherding about how 2 not dwell in negative emotions. DIAOS -.- now I fully understand e difficulties of applying them.

Recently I've been continually tempted by Satan. I can feel him talking to me & I can quite confirm tat it's him coz I nvr used 2 haf such thoughts b4. As in... I've not experienced jealousy in friendship terms for a very, very long time, since primary 6. So yahs... [".] everyday I feel lyk I'm battling with him. & I feel guilty but yahs...[."] sumtyms I actuali listen 2 him & at times when I'm tempted I agree with him. & I end up saying terrible things. I suppose they would reap terrible consequences very soon....

I feel bad T.T sorry, Daddy. I think my Holy Spirit is lyk... a bit weak? O.o although that's probably juz an excuse. everything cums wif a choice. I chose to say bad things about others behind their backs. UGH

I repent. But... It is kind of bugging me that if it happens again, I might do e same thing again.

wah, so weird [".] as I'm typing this entry, all e good thoughts cum out, & I feel lyk sum1 is telling me instructions.

"pray & ask for strength not to do it again"
"God will 4gif u if ur heart is bent on repenting & changing"

-.-" okies .... [."] diaos?

I was reading e book Tim lent me & I read about how Satan cannot bother us when we pray, when we gif thanks 2 Daddy, when we fight him with Daddy's Word. & it struck me that I reali m progressing very slowly in reading His Word. UGH -.-" although I still win Xianjue hahas~ ^^ but yahs -.- I m reali slow. Is reali not tat I dun haf e interest 2 read... a bit hard 2 explain. Is lyk... sumtyms I juz wana sleep? O.o & I dun wana tink so much.

I get quite diaos every tym nid 2 read His Word. Coz Matthew is so LONG -.-" a bit...UGH & then nid 2 think & analyse, everyday doing lit analysis lidat. super taxing n sian =.=

*sobs*

okies nvm -.- I shall go back 2 typing my essay. If not I dun nid sleep liaos...

I hate V-day T.T waste of $$$ & tym T.T ugh

Daddy: U're being angsty
Chloe: Yes, I know

HAIX T.T

okies, 2dae is juz not my day -.-

2008-02-08T14:54:00.000+08:00

Hehe, the story is really significant to what i've learnt like a few months =) I remember SR was praying for YX and she said this sentence that impacted me "God i pray that you will give her the strength to overcome all the problems in her life." and it hit me that SR didn't pray to God to take the problems away, but she instead prayed for the strength to be an overcomer. HEhe, so it kinda struck me that whenever i pray, i gotta pray for the correct thing. Strength instead of the removal of the problems ^_^

Anyway sheep if u are really tired and need sleep, you can like just sleep and wake up early to finish your work, which is better than falling asleep while doing your work. Or usually if you're tired of doing your work, go and get some food/drink(hot milo) or sth then do your work. Yup for me it helps. And ask God for strength to not fall asleep! Hahaha

You always end off a post with a story, i'll mirror that. I'll end off a post with a poem. =) Its quite a famous on, i think you'll have read it b4. Lol

No Time To Pray
By K. J. Koshy

I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.

So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.

All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer.
No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.

No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.

I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God held a book;
It was the book of life.

God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find.
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time"

[".]

2008-02-07T02:12:00.000+08:00

ErR- actuali I get angry wif my parents .___. but yahs... now is much better. last tym I will juz shout/snap at em. Now I already changing lahs... so yahs, tat's settled. My method of cooling down is juz 2 keep quiet. & normally I'd think to myself, God, can You please help me to cool down and calm myself down. It works I suppose. I never quarrel with them for quite long already. (which is quite an achievement) especially since now they are unhappy wif me 4 becoming so "christiany." Dun think they know that I converted yet. but yahs my mum accepts tat I go church every sat. But when she gets unreasonable, it's really testing my patience. But is ok lahs, keeping quiet works for me.

Anyway... it's seriously kinda hard 2 grow in character. I think I will try not to rush myself?

Btw, these stuff that u're telling me I think I read in e book Tim lent me before. I think it's a great book. I'm using it for devotions everyday now. Although I know it can't substitute Daddy's Word. But then again.. it asks u to reflect on your own stuff & life. Lyk there was this chapter that ask whether you are a good influence. Also another that was about forgiving people who hurt you. I thought that was useful for me. The book told us to rite a prayer for the person who injured you or whom u are angry wif. & I din physically rite it out lahs .__. But I juz thought about it & then after that I felt much better. I suppose it works [".] lols .__.

HmM [".] another flaw I'd lyk 2 change wud be to be less emo? I got quite huge mood swings. It's lyk... not really emo lahs. Juz feel sian -.- sian of doing work especially. I already kena "poked" by Daddy many tyms already. Coz Daddy knows that sleeping is quite high on my priority list. So yahs... I dun think Daddy wants that lahs. imagine sleeping everyday without finishing ur work 1st? O.o diaos =.= yahs... can die plz... So yahs... I'm working on that now. Struggling. Coz I reali lyk 2 sleep. It's e only tym when u dun haf 2 tink abou anything. Dun haf 2 listen 2 Daddy. LOLS (oh dear, later he scold me arh x_x) no lahs~ Is juz.. sumtyms it gets a bit diao...& I havent even really begun serving Daddy. I really can totally picture a crazy me when that time comes. So actually I'm secretly hoping that I won't grow so fast so that I dun haf 2 serve that quickly. UGH I feel Daddy going "That's not the right mindset you shoudl have." UGH. Yahs -.- yes, Daddy, I know. ugh T.T

Okies, so Daddy says dun sleep before finishing your work. Also, dun sleep in lectures. (I feel lyk arguing: But other christians sleep in lectures too) then I realised tat they at least do their homework. whilst... I do em last minute... or hand in late. -.- Okies, I lose liaos. When you're arguing wif sum1 lyk Daddy, it's really lose 1 lorhs... He can go join our debate team lahs. trash e other team. LOLS x) so yahs... although I alwaz haf friendly debates wif Him & lose, I will still go sleep .___. so this juz goes 2 show how Daddy is so nice 2 me. Even though I dun listen He still nvr lyk, deliberately get my family memeber 2 wake me up 2 do hmwk -.- Thank Daddy for letting me have my way. But then hor... I think I will suffer e consquences T.T UGH T.T so scary!!!! okies okies, I will try my very best 2 control my sleeping tendancies T.T

How to say no to Daddy.. It's lyk.. impossible lahs zZZZzzzzZZZ *sighs*

I was scouring stories 4 my other blog (e pink 1) when I came across this 1. I think it's really cool. so touching.

A Boys Race Prayer
My son Gilbert was eight years old and had been in Cub Scouts only a short time. During one of his meetings he was handed a sheet of paper, a block of wood and four tires and told to return home and give all to "dad." That was not an easy task for Gilbert to do. Dad was not receptive to doing things with his son. But Gilbert tried. Dad read the paper and scoffed at the idea of making a pine wood derby car with his young, eager son.

The block of wood remained untouched as the weeks passed. Finally, mom stepped in to see if I could figure this all out.The project began....Having no carpentry skills, I decided it would be best if I simply read the directions and let Gilbert do the work. And he did. I read aloud the measurements, the rules of what we could do and what we couldn't do. Within days his block of wood was turning into a pinewood derby car. A little lopsided, but looking great (at least through the eyes of mom). Gilbert had not seen any of the other kids' cars and was feeling pretty proud of his "Blue Lightning," the pride that comes with knowing you did something on your own.

Then the big night came. With his blue pinewood derby in his hand and pride in his heart we headed to the big race. Once there my little one's pride turned to humility. Gilbert's car was obviously the only car made entirely on his own. All the other cars were a father-son partnership, with cool paint jobs and sleek body styles made for speed. A few of the boys giggled as they looked at Gilbert's, lopsided, wobbly, unattractive vehicle. To add to the humility Gilbert was the only boy without a man at his side. A couple of the boys who were from single parent homes at least had an uncle or grandfather by their side, Gilbert had "mom."As the race began it was done in elimination fashion. You kept racing as long as you were the winner. One by one the cars raced down the finely sanded ramp.

Finally it was between Gilbert and the sleekest, fastest looking car there.As the last race was about to begin, my wide eyed, shy eight year old asked if they could stop the race for a minute, because he wanted to pray. The race stopped. Gilbert hit his knees clutching his funny looking block of wood between his hands. With a wrinkled brow he set to converse with his Heavenly Father. He prayed in earnest for a very long minute and a half. Then he stood, smile on his face and announced, "Okay, I'm ready."

As the crowd cheered, a boy named Tommy stood with his father as their car sped down the ramp. Gilbert stood with his Father within his heart and watched his block of wood wobble down the ramp with surprisingly great speed and rushed over the finish line a fraction of a second before Tommy's car.Gilbert leaped into the air with a loud "Thank you" as the crowd roared in approval. The Scout Master came up to Gilbert with microphone in hand and asked the obvious question, "So you prayed to win, huh, Gilbert?"

To which my young son answered, "Oh, no sir. That wouldn't be fair to ask God to help me beat someone else. I just asked Him to make it so I didn't cry if I lost."Children seem to have a wisdom far beyond us. Gilbert didn't ask God to win the race, he didn't ask God to fix the out come, Gilbert asked God to give him strength in the outcome. When Gilbert first saw the other cars he didn't cry out to God, "No fair, they had a fathers help." No, he went to his Father for strength.Perhaps we spend too much of our prayer time asking God to rig the race, to make us number one, or to much time asking God to remove us from the struggle, when we should be seeking God's strength to get through the struggle.

"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippines 4:13

Gilbert's simple prayer spoke volumes to those present that night. He never doubted that God would indeed answer his request. He didn't pray to win, thus hurt someone else; he prayed that God supply the grace to lose with dignity.Gilbert, by his stopping the race to speak to his Father also showed the crowd that he wasn't there without a "dad," but His Father was most definitely there with him. Yes, Gilbert walked away a winner that night, with his Father at his side.

=====END======

I think this story really touched me x_x Daddy is ALWAYS doing this to me lahs -.- everytym I feel sian of Him (LOLS) & having 2 be such a gd person, He alwaz touches me in such small (but huge 2 me) ways...[".] That's 1 of e reasons y I alwaz prayed from young. But then... I never had e wisdom lyk Gilbert. I was a selfish little girl who prayed for stuff for myself. Of course, I prayed for others too. But they took up a really small portion of my prayers when I was young. I prayed for good results mostly. & God gave them to me. I feel lyk... going to TJC. was also His plan. Coz... I really never got that type of marks before. Either that or they really moderated alot. *shrugs* But I seldom thanked Him. I took all the stuff that I got for granted.. But He didn't abandon me when I prayed hard. I remember certain times when I became really troubled or met with difficulties, it would be quite terrible...& crying, I'd think God, please help me. But I alwaz prayed 4 e change of outcome. & sumtyms it really happened. Others it didn't. But I treated Daddy lyk a helpline in the past. It really shouldn't have been like that. I wished I had been more like Gilbert & That I had appreciated His help more. I'm really glad that I went for the Tianjin trip & met CY & Den. I don't know how to describe how glad I am to have really finally found Daddy. The Daddy who answered my prayers since young even though I wasn't a christian & found the right way to be with Him.

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strength. When you go through hardship and decide not to surrender, that is strength.

2008-02-07T00:55:00.000+08:00

Hey sheepy!
Haha, hope you had a good day with your friends 2day! =) I think we are all like so busy nowadays lor, no time to blog here for quite a few days. I shall blog about some spiritual stuff! Feed you more, so you can grow fatter in God. Hahahahaha.. Spiritual maturity doesn't really come with like how long you serve God anyway, its comes by how much you've change in character. (For the better of course not worse!!)

I think the best way to grow is to sit down and think of flaws or things in your character that you can change in. Ask God too, cause sometimes we don't know our own mistakes so when we pray to God, he can remind us or reveal things to us. So example if you're like those that gets angry quite easy or upset or emo or sth... You can like okay, i will only get angry once a week, cannot permit myself to get angry more than once or if i get angry i will not say vulgarities or i will not shout or maybe i will calm down within a time frame of 5mins. Haha for me if i'm upset or angry at sth or someone i will usually go to the toilet and calm down b4 i talk to the person or sth again.
The example probably won't apply for you, cause i don't really see you angry much ^_^ Haha... Anyway u must grow in character k? Yup ^_^

And i'm gonna go get a song for this blog like now!! The song is FROM THE INSIDE OUT! Haha the name of this blog! Lols Take care sheepy! Any probs or questions or help you need just ask me K? I'm free =) Love ya. Sheppy

><

2008-01-31T23:23:00.000+08:00

Is a long story y I jealous... [".] but yah, I feel better liaos. Feeling sort of subsided .__. Thank God! ^^ But yah... I shall try to be less possessive over people who r slowly making their way in2 e special places in my heart. & try 2 luv em less =.= LOLS -.- diaos... weird logic. *Chloe starts to build up a high wall around her heart* Daddy is telling me "No, it's not lidat, Chloe." Yah, yah I noe -.- okies, I will juz try 2 only feel love. *incredulous* But then again, I'm not a saint, & I'm not Daddy, so obviously I'll struggle. Nvm, is ok. So lame lah Chloe! How can jealous over such small stuff?! =.= rubbish! x_x

What special guest? O.o who???? -.-" diaos??? o.O y muz so mysterious 1?! =.=

wah.... I'm SO TIRED T.T (I realise 80% of e tym I'm tired 1-.-) But I nvr do work 4 e past few days.

I realise hor...

My priorities in life are as such:
1) friends
Always chuck whatever are on my hands(be it homework that is lyk... due tmr & u noe u dun haf tym 2 do 2dae) & listen to what they haf 2 say. Btw, I do realise every1 treats me a walking ear. They want listening ear all flock to CHLOE! I think I will start charging people $1 per minute. WOW. then I will earn $$$ lyk mad -.- LOLS rubbish lahs =.= of coz not lahs, I lyk helping ppl. But I doubt I gif gd advice so they've totally cum 2 e wrong person! *faints*

2) sleeping
When that feeling to sleep comes, I'll juz gif in 2 it. Although I REALLY REALLY TRY 2 struggle wif it! T.T I can be reading Daddy's Word. & that feeling sweeps me. *waves white flag* *Close Bible, talk to Daddy a bit then off to dreamland already* YAH TERRIBLE! -.-

3) talking to Daddy
OH MY SKY, how can this be 3rd?!?! YES I NOE, is SUPER DUPER terrible can!!! -.- UGH! T.T eeyer!!! bad Chloe. But yah, I'm working on moving it to number 1.__. but then again, I talk to Him everywhere at e most random places. Not lyk He wun hear what... -.- so y muz pick quiet spot etc? O.o

4) Homework
UGH THIS IS LAST?!?!

Yah -.- I noe... Is terrible!!! T.T

I feel so bad UGH. & I am so terrible at evangelising I can actually kena influenced by the cynicalism of my fren tat when I was toking 2 her, I was quite -.- & duno how 2 answer alot of e stuff she raised. I found myself agreeing at tyms=.= Oh my sky plz! Y lidat 1?! Chloe, u really really nid 2 grow 1st, coz currently, u r super terrible at evang-ing.

T.T SAD

okies I m tired. shall go catch forty winks. I dun tink I reali lyk my new found role of walking ear. But I guess in a way when ppl r sad, it's easier 4 me 2 try 2 evang. xD coz e avenue is dere. U can juz start already. I think Siti is so hard 2 convince!! (I think is coz she takes KI) She questions a lot, & she used 2 be able to feel Daddy! -.- Tink she juz drifted away? Coz she stopped believing.=.= HAIX. hard plz T.T

Sijie's bdae is on sat! I'm so excited! I LURVE MY DAUGHTER SO MUCH! If I din meet her I wud haf rotted my jc life away. LOLS, she's 1 of e reasons I went 2 sch even during my emo period. (when I din haf Daddy) So I relied so much on her 2 cheer me up. My happiness fruit daughter+ friend. LOLS

story time!
==============================================

The Color Of Friendship
Once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel. All claimed that they were the best. The most important. The most useful. The favorite. Green said:"Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all animals would die. Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority." Blue interrupted:"You only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It is the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing." Yellow chuckled:"You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety, and warmth into the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me there would be no fun."

Orange started next to blow her trumpet:"I am the color of health and strength. I may be scarce, but I am precious for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes, and papayas. I don't hang around all the time, but when I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you." Red could stand it no longer he shouted out:"I am the ruler of all of you. I am blood - life's blood! I am the color of danger and of bravery. I am willing to fight for a cause. I bring fire into the blood. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the color of passion and of love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy." Purple rose up to his full height:He was very tall and spoke with great pomp: "I am the color of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs, and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey."

Indigo spoke, more quietly than others, but with determination:"Think of me. I am the color of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me you all become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace." And so the colors went on boasting, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarreling became louder and louder.

Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening thunder rolled and boomed. Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colors crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort. In the midst of the clamor, God began to speak:"You foolish colors, fighting amongst yourselves, each trying to dominate the rest. Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me." Doing as they were told, the colors united and joined hands. God continued:"From now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The Rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow." And so, whenever a good rain washes the world, and a Rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one another.

===================================

hurray 4 Friendship^^ hurray 4 luv!

cya 4 shepherding tmr, Sheppie!

Luv, a tired & sian Sheepie x_x

2008-01-31T20:47:00.000+08:00

Lol, you jealous? Of who? Haha, i was talking to Justina about jealousy today. I was telling her that when i was a kid i was very jealous of my bro! So co-incidental. =) Anyway my love language is touch, but i'm not a touchy type of person. Weird right? As in i won't really like to touch people(feel weird), but i feel loved when people touch me. Like if i get a hug it means more that a letter that someone writes for me or more than some time a person spends with me. Hahaha... But i definitely like getting letters and spending time with people though. I'm a quality time person too...Haha

Oops, looks like cannot go Fish and Co, we have a special guest for shepherding 2morrow. Lol.. haha i'll like explain to you why....Hehe ahhhh i have to do card for my friend. Eeek and i haven't finished my GP homework... I better rushy rushy. Blog another time. Byes.

^^

2008-01-30T22:27:00.000+08:00

I lyk this story. It reminds me that Daddy reaches out to every single person as long as they seek Him.

God Is Under My Bed
My brother Kevin thinks God lives under his bed. At least that's what I heard him say one night. He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped outside his closed door to listen. "Are You there, God?" he said. " Where are You? Oh, I see. Under the bed. "I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room. Kevin's unique perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something else lingered long after the humor.

I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in. He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties during labor. Apart from his size (he's 6-foot-2), there are few ways in which he is an adult. He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old, and he always will. He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed, and that airplanes stay up in the sky because angels carry them. I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life? Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled, home to walk our cocker spaniel, returning to eat his favorite macaroni-and-cheese for dinner, and later to bed. The only variation in the entire scheme are laundry days, when He hovers excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn child. He does not seem dissatisfied.

He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05, eager for a day of simple work. He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove before dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his next day's laundry chores. And Saturdays - oh, the bliss of Saturdays! That's the day my dad takes Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the planes land, and speculate loudly on the destination of each passenger inside. "That one's goin' to Chi-car-go!" Kevin shouts as he claps his hands. His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights.

I don't think Kevin knows anything exists outside his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips. He doesn't know what it means to be discontent. His life is simple. He will never know the entanglements of wealth of power, and he does not care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats. He recognizes no differences in people, treating each person as an equal and a friend. His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they may not be. His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as when he is working. When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is completely in it. He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and he does not leave a job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax.

He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others. His heart is pure. He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue. Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. He is always transparent, always sincere. And he trusts God. Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God - to really be friends with Him in a way that is difficult for an "educated" person to grasp. God seems like his closest companion.

In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity, I envy the security Kevin has in his simple faith. It is then that I am most willing to admit that he has some divine knowledge that rises above my mortal questions. It is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one with the handicap - I am. My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances - they all become disabilities when I do not submit them to Christ. Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn? After all, he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence, praying after dark and soaking up the Goodness and Love of The Lord. And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we are all amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I'll realize that God heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God lived under his bed. Kevin won't be surprised at all.

----------------------------------------

Hahas, yah I noe u dun haf 2 feel Daddy 2 noe He is dere. I was juz being a whiny brat 2dae so I wanted to c 4 myself. -.- Aniwae, I've alwaz wanted 2 feel lahs, juz coz out of curiosity. Is not really doubt. Is lyk, I juz wana feel wad it's lyk 2 feel Him next 2 u. ^^ Happy I finally cud feel Him after so long. Even when I was young, I nvr really felt tat way when I pray to Him. & yar, Is true that Daddy nvr forsake me, even though I was so emo & grumpy 2dae, & dun reali wana tok 2 Him, He makes me meet His people, who all try to talk to me in an attempt to make me feel better. totally experieneced it 2dae. Wanted to go away & rot but keep seeing His people! -.- diaos =.= looks lyk if Daddy wants u, u can't run 1 -.- lols! is gd thing lahs, if not I will keep runnin from Him everytym I in bad mood. Which is lyk -.- what an unfillal daughter! later Daddy scold. hahas~ no lah, Daddy very understanding 1

Feel bad coz I had evil thoughts today. Which I'm so not proud of. Shall pray to Daddy to make e feeling & thought disappear. I dun lyk this feeling called 'jealousy.' not at all. & I feel bad about it. =( I know Daddy will alwaz find it in His heart 2 4gif us, coz He loves us so much. But I still can't get past myself 4 feeling jealous of my friend. I dun lyk e green eyed- monster. Not at all. Daddy, please remove it! I dun wana be friends with it. Okies, now I feel lyk a little girl hiding behind the Father when being chased by a mosnter or something. LOLS

LOLS ur class arh! DURIANS?!?! OH MY SKY! LOLS xD crazy people lah. *quoting Sijie = This is madness!!!* LOLS really no postcards anymore?! Then tomorrow muz bring letter pad, coz I wana rite letter to mortal. My angel is in heaven duno happily doing wad, so I haf 2 shower all my luv 2 my mortal, who is really nice & cute! ^^ I lyk her already. then again, I nvr hate any1.

Friday arh? O.o HMMM [".] I haf craving for Fish & Co but then I'm gona be broke lyk, very soon. Coz sijie's bdae is this saturday. & guess wad! we r gona plan a surprise 4 her! SO CUNNING xD lols! hmM U decide bahs

Anyway, I CANT TELL AT ALL tat ur love language is touch!!! -.- lols!!!

hahas, yah I noe Daddy is alwaz dere to share my burden. Have decided that when people cast their troubles on me, I will pray 4 em & ask Daddy 2 help em & lessen my burden. God, I love You so much! & God, I love my Sheppie oso! Thank You so much for bringing me to her! Thank You so much for letting me get to know You. & I'm gona continue & persevere as I walk with You, God. I really have so much to learn from You & your people ^^

Take care 2, my dear Sheppie & eeewww wad a bad way 2 end a post by reminding me of PE! -.- *appalled*

Luv, Sheepie ^^ who is starting 2 feel tired although she planned not 2 sleep 2nite -.-

2008-01-30T20:36:00.000+08:00

Hey sheepie, sorry la. Hehe, didn't blog for like the past 2 days in this blog cause was kinda tired recently. And who say never take care? I went to sleep earlier lor yesterday... Hahaha Anyway, it really encourages me, to see the efforts you make in evangelizing ppl, it reminds me that it is time i step out of my comfort zone and start mass sharing to people around me! Yup, i must start targeting people to work on already and share to them.

Anyone, just to clarify something too, you don't always have to feel God's presence to know he's there. Sometimes, when u can't feel God's presence don't worry, because God at times hides his presence from you, so that you will be faithful even when you cannot feel him. But whether we feel God or not, he has already promised that never will he leave us, never will he forsake us yup! =)

Oh and thanks for the 2 post cards! Though i didn't write any back cause i was sleeping yesterday. Lols. Hahaha, thanks though. Okay lol let me tell you about my day! I had guitar 2day, was kinda fun and i got to know a new friend! ^_^ She's like from 19/07, just the class next to me. 2morrow is like a loooonnngg day, ends at like 3.50 for me! Haha ends like 4.40 for you! Worse. I haven't given my mortal anything, i wanted to write a card 2day, but lols the post cards under LT1 ran out, cause everybody was like writing for their mortal. My classmates wanted to buy durian for their mortal, which was kinda evil cause the durian's spikey! And some other ppl actually did that and the durian stank the classroom!

Lol, sheepie i think a day has never past where we never talk/write/sms each other lor. We are either writing post cards, or talking or smsing. Hahahah... Oh and this Friday have to stay back for the carnival which is like at 4.18pm and we have to tap our card around tt timing cause the school wants to ensure tt we don't leave sch>_< Anyway you have any place you wanna go particularly? Like i dunoo, any favorite place that isn't too far so we can leave sch and come back by 5pm? (Woodlands is a sure No no! hahaha) Starbucks/mac/KFC/Fish & Co. or etc for shepherding? Tell me k? Cause i can't decide on any place... ^_^

And Sheepy must cheer up and trust God k? There is no problem too big he cannot solve. And no problem too small he doesn't care. Whatever troubles you face, God understands. Whatever cares and concern you have for others, God says, i care for the person too. I have loved the person since he/she was born, and i have always been there, waiting for them to take my hand.

Lol take care Sheepie see ya for PE 2morrow=]
Luv Sheppy

OH OK

2008-01-29T23:27:00.001+08:00

Dear Sheppie,

U arh, nvr take care of urself! I really, really, really duno wad 2 say liaos. If u sick, rest! & take medicine!!! -.- Dun juz continue 2 be sick!!! O.o

Take good care of urself. Nowadays people keep falling sick.

[".] Is quite terrible.

Hahas~ after talking to u yesterday, I really really feel more confident in walking with Daddy. I luv Daddy so much, becoz of so many things that He has done. & just because He's been there for me, ever since young.

So today was another happy day for me. & I really really feel more strongly than ever that our care group will be so much happier with Sijie as an addition. I'm really going to do my best to work on her, but I think I am not exactly holy enough to teach. -.- so is like... I have to look to Daddy for strength.

I luv Daddy! 2dae I haf so many, so many things to tell Him!

& I think I wana tell u oso!

Well, 1st of all, lyk I told u in e postcard, my mortal replied me! & GUESS WHAT! I met an andersonian on the way home after care group. Coz Den looked lyk he knew him, so I wanted to bridge e gap. Coz my fren was his OGL. His name is Weijie. & she knows he's from Anderson Sec (YES, my sec sch) So I know he is from same sec sch oso. So I started talking to him. Den was lyk, do I know u? Then in e end, he recognised e wrong guy! But we are lyk, from same sec sch! IT WAS SO COOL! So from strangers we became acquaintances. Dun think he noes my name though. We walked all e way from e coffee shop there to the mrt together, just chatting about school life, as for me & him, we chat about our sec sch & joking about all sorts of stuff. In e end, Weijie is in my mortal's class! & I found out that my mortal is from Anderson sec also!!! I'm totally =.= WHAT!!! LOLS so he knows my mortal, & he was in justina's go green day group! So I'm lyk WOW! What a coincidence! Den was also saying that it's really really wad a coincidence. Maybe this is Daddy hinting to us? O.o Daddy, this is so cool lahs!

2ndly, Evelyn wants to set up a class care group! it's like only 1 hour. So that we can encourage each other as we all walk with God. HmM [".] I think it's cool. As in, being able to learn from God's people! ^^ I felt so enlightened & happier after I talked to Eve after PE 2dae. We juz sat there & talked so much about Daddy. =D great feeling that we share e same belief, that we are all serving Daddy~! x)

3rdly, okies... people around me are starting to face troubles in life.

OKIES, Daddy is nudging me again. Ok, ok, ok, yes, Daddy, I will try to evangelise these people who I can tell need You. They need You in their lives so that they can live it to the fullest~! & I'll perservere! ^^ I really hope that I can save my sister. Coz I really love her. & she's currently facing some troubles... =( SIGHS!

Dear God, my dearest Daddy, I really really pray that God will touch my sister. That You will show her Your love, that is the greatest love one can ever experience. I really really pray God, that you can take away her agony and her sadness, & that she might find peace & happiness in You. God, please help me, for I love my sister so much. God, I will really try to do m part. God, I really want to bring her to You, because You have touched me in so many ways. God, please help me do this. I cannot do this alone, God, I need Your help. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

I hope Daddy will heal my Sheppie. Coz she's lyk so poor thing! T.T feel sad for her. seeing her unwell =( *pouts* But yah, Daddy does stuff for a reason. [".] Okies!!! Jiayou Chloe! Jiayou Sheppie! U grow stronger as u perservere! ^^

OKIES,I haf so much 2 say to Daddy 2dae. I'm going off liaos. NITEX NITEX~
^^

Although I noe u r already asleep lahs, Sheppie -.- LOLS

Okies, another inspirational story...^^

A "Love" Story
Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all prepared their boats and left. Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment. When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help. Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you." Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel, "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat." Vanity answered. Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh.... Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!" Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her! Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went his own way. Love realized how much he owed the elder and asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who helped me?" "It was Time," Knowledge answered. "Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?" Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because, only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

Yes, so I think only time will tell... for those people who are not receptive to me when I try to plant that seed in their hearts. [".] sighs. Daddy has a plan for everyone. They will feel His love in time to come & understand its greatness. I think He will help me in His own way. & I trust in You, God. You are truly a God who works wonders. & may Sheppie & I grow closer to you with the passing of every single day of our lives, so that we may grow to become more like You. Daddy, I love You. Thank God for my sheppie. & thank God for the christians in my class, like Evelyn.

Luv, a tired Chloe Sheepie xD

HmM

2008-01-28T22:10:00.000+08:00

Dear Sheppie,

Thanks 4 taking tym from ur busy schedule 2 explain 2 me. ^^ JIAYOU 4 UR WORK

okies, now I understand

Combine what u say + what Hon say + what Elliot say + what yixiu say + what Michael say = ENLIGHTENMENT! ^^

LOLS XD

okies, now I'm happy again! Thank God tomorrow got CG ~~~ =D YAY ~

I miss CG & service T.T lols... anyway, I luv Daddy so I want to be His eagle. One that soars amongst turbulent winds. So .... follow Daddy!! Won't go wrong 1 ^^

You jiayou 2~! Let's continue to grow more & more!

Here's an inspirational story I found quite interesting! ^^

How To Carry Your Burden
A monarch of long ago had twin sons. There was some confusion about which one was born first. As they grew to young manhood, the king sought a fair way to designate one of them as crown prince. All who knew the young men thought them equal in intelligence, wit, personal charm, health, and physical strength. Being a keenly observant king, he thought he detected a trait in one which was not shared by the other. Calling them to his council chamber one day, he said, "My sons, the day will come when one of you must succeed me as king. The burdens of sovereignty are very heavy. To find out which of you is better able to bear them cheerfully, I am sending you together to a far corner of the kingdom. One of my advisors there will place equal burdens on your shoulders. My crown will one day go to the one who first returns bearing his burden like a king should." In a spirit of friendly competition, the brothers set out together. Soon they overtook an aged woman struggling under a burden that seemed far too heavy for her frail body. One of the boys suggested that they stop to help her. The other protested: "We have a burden of our own to worry about. Let us be on our way." The objector hurried on while the other stayed behind to give aid to the aged woman. Along the road, from day to day, he found others who also needed help. A blind man took him miles out of his way, and a lame man slowed him to a cripple's walk. Eventually he did reach his father's advisor, where he secured his own burden and started home with it safely on his shoulders. When he arrived at the palace, his brother met him at the gate, and greeted him with dismay. He said, "I don't understand. I told our father the burden was too heavy to carry. However did you do it?" The future king replied thoughtfully, "I suppose when I helped others carry their burdens, I found the strength to carry my own."

Lurve, Sheepie Chloe ^^

2008-01-28T21:50:00.000+08:00

Hello sheepy. Sorry i didn't come early for prayer meet. Pai seh... Quite bad of me...Thanks for the waffle even though i was like super full and couldn't eat it. The thought counts! Hahaha, nobody has ever bought me a waffle at a correct timing. So you're not the only one! Even though they have tried. Cause i must be hungry + I must feel like eating waffle + I must not be going home to eat dinner. And i only eat waffles in the afternoon. Haha so its like, to get me a waffle when i wanna eat it is like 1 out of dunno how many thousand chances. I' m soo fussy.

Anyway, i know that following God isn't easy. For myself, i have wanted to give up like so many times. There are times when i have gotten so angry and upset, i refused to listen to mp3 and talk things out with God but simply wanted to walk away. There are times when i find that God isn't there, and he doesn't care. But i stayed, despite the difficulties and the things i couldn't comprehend. He's worth it. Remember his goodness and his love and things don't look so difficult then. Haha.. Thanks for like accounting to me =] And no need buy stuff for me to eat la... Hahaha, i don't expect anything in return. If u really want, just write me postcards, i'm happy with that already. But if u want to know what i like, I dun mind choc. (I dun like choc with nuts though, choc with raisins are nice though) But pls dun like spam me choc!! If u really have to, like once in a YEAR is fine. Haha.. OKay i have to like study for Chem SPA and like do lyrics for CG 2morrow. Ahhhh, kinda packed nowadays. Hehe.. End off with a verse

Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Love Sheppy

Accounting

2008-01-28T18:45:00.000+08:00

Dear Sheppie,

Okies, I should totally account. Don't worry, this time is not because I'm forced to or anything. But yes, I DO want to account this time.

By the way, sorry about the waffle. I bought it before knowing that you had a heavy breakfast. You know what? Next tym I will juz stick 2 snacks -.- Justina saw it when we were assembling for prayer meet, & she said we 2 keep buying each other stuff. Louis was like, why? You jealous arh? lols...

Anyway I was feeling happy in the morning. I woke up at 5.30am, according to the plan that I set myself. Then I did Othello questions. & we had prayer meet. Obviously u were late. =.= lols. & Louis told me about Wit week. (Is that how u spell it?O.o)

Ok I realise I can't account properly here. Coz this is still a public blog. -.-

nvm... ok, in short, I was having doubts. Becoz I didn't understand why we had 2 fast. & well... nobody really explained to me. So I was quite lost... & I didn't know who to ask. I felt like asking CY but he was looking so sick. & you were in a hurry to get to class. So I left to go meet my Hon at the marquee. & I just thought about it. & I was quite confused. I asked Hon what fasting was about. She told me that there are different types of fasting. Got like, entertainment fasting & liquid fasting or total fasting. So I was like... huh? O.o

So I was like, ok... so what type am I supposed to follow? Louis said to pick a day. So I assumed that it was liquid fast for a whole day. & then that day we r supposed to be more evangelistic so we had to choose a day that is like, meet more people 1. So I chose thursday. Becoz it's like the day that I can see more people. & tuesday got PE afternoon one. So I won't be able to stand it. Then monday was out of the way because I already ate breakfast after prayer meet. Wednesday & Friday got CCA. I need all the energy I can get. So thursday was like... the ideal choice.

Then I was feeling quite upset. Coz I...

I know it's wrong. But I don't believe in evangalism. Becoz I think not all of them out there are willing to receive Him. I mean, I know His love and I really want to share it with others, becoz it is really so noble & it works miracles. But then.... -.- I think they need to at least be interested. & unfortunately, I don't think the people around me are. I told this to Michael. & he said that he actually agrees. I should reach out to those who need Him more. & I shouldn't invite people just for the sake of inviting. It's like... U want me to invite, I invite. But they won't believe lah. Michael always gives good advice. He says, u might not be able to make them believe, but what u'll do is to plant a seed in their heart. & others in their life will come to water their seed. & He will do His work on them. I totally agreed.

But ... I was still feeling quite stressed. I was lost & confused. I didn't understand. Why do we need to prove our faith in Him through fasting? Why must we be so desperate to spread His love? I only want to reach out to those I can really tell need Him. Then I asked Hon. Am I a bad christian? Am I doing things wrongly?

Hon told me that I wasn't. That some people don't believe in evangelism also. It's like... we believe that those who need Him will come to us. He will lead them to us. Yes, we will do our part. But she said her way of serving Him is to obey His Word & maintain a strong relationship with Him. She told me that she hopes people can see the magic that He has done in her life and see His love. But I still felt terrible. I feel like I've been asked to prove my faith through such stuff, through fasting & getting people to convert. (Becoz of something someone said that is totally weighing down on my mind all the way from when it was said even up till now) I get the feeling that nobody believes that I believe in Him if I don't do all those.

I don't know why it's such a terrible feeling for me. I really felt so bugged down by it. Because I didn't like e feeling of having to prove my faith by doing these. I didn't understand. I asked Elliot (he was cradle baptised) & then he explained to me why we had to fast. That it makes us stronger spiritually in a way. But it's up to you whether you want to do it or not. this question just kept bugging me. Why? Why must we do it this week? I didn't understand at all. I just kept doubting. Why must we choose a day? Why must it be compulsory?

Maybe I've got all the wrong concepts already. -.- Elliot was telling me, that yes, it is something that you should do out of your own will. I was like... haix. But I was still feeling terrible throughout the whole of Lit double period. I felt so... tired & drained. & depressed. You know what? All I really wanted to do was to like... stop. to give up. I didn't want to continue anymore. I don't want to serve in a care group any more. Why can't I love Him in my own way? Hon is from City Harvest, she's not in any cell group, but her relationship wif Him is also strong. She can speak in tongues also. I don't want to do things that I don't want to do. I don't want to do things for the sake of doing them. It was like... I just totally wanted to give up because I was tired. I wanted to love Him in my own way.

So I was feeling very very depressed. After lit, Hon went to history lesson. I was at the marquee table with yixiu, yvonne and sijie. I was supposed to start on my lit homework. but i didn't. I couldn't concentrate at all. All those doubts were going through my head. Yes, I can feel His love, I know He is always there but why? why? What was it for? Why must it be like that? Why can't we love in our own way?

Hon told me that when u haf a relationship wif sum1. She took sijie for example. She treats Sijie differently, I treat Sijie differently. Our love for Sijie is expressed in different ways. Like, she always talks to Sijie & jokes with her. I'm always poking Sijie & teasing her by calling her Sibang. (coz she always 'bangs' people) Hon was explaining that a relationship with Him should be like that. You express your love in different ways. ultimately it is that relationship that you form with Him that is important. Not caring about how others perceive you or doubt your faith.

So I was like...so confused & overwhelmed. So I decided ok, that was it. I wasn't gona continue like that. I took out the Bible & I blasted worship songs in my mp3. I prayed. I prayed that God will give me an answer through His Word. I prayed for strength to overcome these.

& then, I opened the book, just by randomly picking any page. & then, what I read just totally struck me. Coz I really could tell it was Him speaking to me.

25 "To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.
26 Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.
27 Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God"?
28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

That was it. It was all it took to get me to really lose it. I was like... Oh my sky, that is like totally an answer & an encouragement. I couldn't carry on coz I was crying. I left the table & went to a corner to try to get a hold on myself. & then Yixiu came. Thank Him for Yixiu who followed. Becoz I duno what else would have happened

I think it's all Daddy's plan. He knows I'm upset & tired, & I need someone to talk to. I couldn't tell Yixiu what was wrong. I could only cry. Then she tried to explain it all to me. She told me that there are many moments she goes through that make her want to give up. So many responsibilities & the commitment to church is driving her nuts. We talked & I asked her some of my questions. She answered them. I felt slightly better after that. Although I'm still ... I duno how 2 describe it. But yah, I was still thinking about it.l

Then after I stopped crying, Yixiu was telling me about Cindy. the one u told me about. She was telling me about her and xianjue. Then she told me that she can feel that you love me a lot. -.- LOLS. Actually, I've never doubted that. I just feel so... I duno how to say. touched? & then I cried again. -.- see lah =.= u make me cry lorhs -.-

After that, I was able to be more cheerful. Sijie really spreads happiness. I love being around her so much. I love Hon so much because she is always there for me. & now, I'd like to apologise to you for not calling you. But then again... it was all quite sudden & I didn't even noe how 2 react. Much less think of calling you.

Although I'm feeling better now. hey wait, it's so ironic. this morning I was just tellin u 2 haf faith & then immediately after that I lost practically all my faith. Although the faith that He is always there for me is still there.

I don't like having to prove something... Why should someone try to test my relationship with Him by asking me to do something?

I still don't understand. I don't like the feeling at all... T.T Ok, i'm going to start crying again... I love Daddy, but I don't understand... I really don't. Why can't I serve in my own way?

just now during dinner, I very tactlessly told my parents that I was fasting on thursday. & then guess what... now they think that i'm in some christian cult that forces people to fast. Becoz I din really understand why myself, I was unable to explain to them. Yes, it's a horrible chain of events. My father was very pissed. My mother was very pissed also. She asked what for? what's the point. I said to remind myself to spread the word of Him to others. & she was totally angry. she was like, what for? I don't object to u visiting church ocassionally, but this is getting out of hand. I was like -.- oh my sky... plz lorh

then my father said what... They never consider people's physical condition & get people to suffer. (Coz I used to haf gastric problems) So they were very worried about me. I can totally understand where they are coming from. & I didn't know what to say. So i was like... ok, I will moderate. If I'm hungry, I will just eat, ok? & tat got them unhappy still. They refused to let me do that. they said I shouldn't damage my body.

So I was like.. =.= then I went to continue typing this entry after dinner. & my father called me to go to the kitchen. He asked me if I want a boyfriend desperately. Obviously my mother told him that I go church because of CY. Which is seriously like =.= I really really couldn't stand it. It was so preposterous! I felt so maligned. I don't understand why they are like that. How can they think like that? Then my father said that I am being close-minded to religion. I'm becoming biased towards christianity. I was like =.= what... Then he say, I am so young got A levels, shouldn't get a boyfriend. PLEASE LORH.. -.- I felt so incredulous at their accusations that I was totally speechless. I refused to talk. Coz I knew if I talked I would quarrel with them. I am so upset with them. I thought they'd understand. I really really thought that they would know that I of all people have problems really trusting guys. I am so upset that this is what they think of their daughter. They think that I'm this desperate person who is like, all out to get a boyfriend. This is what they think of me. I really really am so disappointed I instantly felt like crying. But I didn't. Coz my father will think that it's because I really am going out with CY, which is like, 100% so far from the truth ... I am so sad. really so upset with them. & yah... my father was like saying I shouldn't let people make use of my weakness to get me to commit to stuff. & he say what I go church coz I like the company there only.

WHAT THE- =.= I couldn't stand that ok!!! I said, NO, is coz I like going. I like going to listen. & he said I am being biased, I too young to decide what religion I want. I could tell this was not going to get anywhere. So I said, I am already open to religion. I already know about the religions. & he asked, do u know what the muslims believe? Do you know what the buddhists believe? & I was like.. yes. He said, no you don't. I was totally like... what the - How can you like that say O.o

So I left the conversation soon after. Becoz I knew it was impossible to talk some sense into them.

Why is this happening to me? O.o like all in 1 single day? o.O

Daddy, why are you testing me now? Can you wait for another 1 month to test me?! I'm like ... so lost & I duno what to do now.

God, please give me the strength to do what is right.

God, please bless my family & make them understand.

I know this is all for my growth but... I really can't stand any of this. I need advice. But I don't want to trouble u with my troubles. Becoz I can tell u r troubled also.

Daddy can you please help me?

I feel so helpless & sad

2008-01-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

I had a nice QT in the morning since your were late. I invited YX and XJ cause YX came up with the idea, so i okay la, just meet. Haha, didn't tell you they were coming oops. Sry, kinda slipped my mind. Haha.. Anyway 2day i went for green-day positively cause it was like a good opportunity to know the Jc1's. So anyway i mixed around alot and got to know the Jc1's better. Was kinda cool, cause i was like, "yay, i know more ppl. can bring them to know God." But it was like, i only knew them surfacely and not like good pals. Hope some of them are in guitar =) Then i can get to know them better. I know 3 guys and 5 girls. Lol quite little. But my memory space for names not very big. Haha

Anyway I think this is one verse, i really want you to read and understand. Young here refers to Spiritually young. 1 Timothy 4:12
¹²Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

Hey its perfectly fine if your hon wants to join our CG, we more than welcome her =) It'll be fine. Haha, u just have to tell us like one day in advance minimum if she's like coming for CG on the next day...After all we are all Christians and serve the same God^_^

Okay, i'm abit off in my mood 2day. So i'll blog another time. Sorry its kinda short.

Love ya sheepy.

Jiayou! From, Chloe

2008-01-27T23:13:00.000+08:00

Jiayou chionging work 2! I know we're all busy. I've sort of been acting like I'm the only one with troubles! -.- which is so NOT true at all! (although homework troubles are easiest to solve out of all x_x) Anyway, this morning was so funny! I was talking to xiu 2dae after class CIP in bedok central kfc, & she told me actually today xianjue & her pangsey us!! I was lyk... HUH? Got meh? O.o seems lyk u wanted we 4 2 meet 2geder in e morning .__. I din exactly noe about that -.- LOLS

Anyway, I felt quite sad (not to mention shocked) after hearing about pastor shirley's story. Dun worry lahs, I wun like that 1 ^^ But then I guess... Some people really lack love lahs .__. so their way of wanting love from others is quite extreme. I think I can understand. But then I don't think it's worth dying for. I think if the people around her r unable 2 4gif her, then they are really not the ones who truly love her. I think what she lacks is confidence, coz she doesnt really feel lyk ppl love her unless they are concerned when she's sick or make a fuss over her. Anyway, I thought we can't end our lives ourselves? Won't we go to hell like that? It's not worth it. I think she wouldn't have done that if there was someone she really 100% trusted & could turn to no matter what. [".] HmM yah. Juz felt lyk it's been weighing down on my mind so wana reflect a bit. Okies, I sure dun wana end up lidat. & I believe I won't. Even if there's no1 there for me anymore, (that totally won't happen, coz I'm so nice, & ppl juz adore me! LOLS xP hahas~ It's true what! ^^) I still have God. I believe that His love is enough. & yah... I don't think anything is worth ending ur life over. Then again, when someone is depressed, really cannot think so much. sad until can't stand it= can't think straight = just lose urself inside e depressing thoughts. It's lyk this huge spiral. Hahas, lucky I dun haf this problem, can juz listen 2 praise & worship songs. Or happy chinese pop songs ^^ hahas, I used 2 "emo" alot early in e morning 1. But yah... after getting to know Him better, I refuse to let myself be emo. If I ever am emo, I will juz go & find my friend! Haix... why she so cute & nice 1?! LOLS

btw... my Hon asks if she can join our care group occasionally, does it matter that she's frm city harvest church & not ours? Coz I dun think can right? So I told her I'd ask u. Hope u can see this soon & tell me. x_x that'll be left up to God's will already. Anyway, she also has a lot to learn. Becoz although she's very old spiritually, she's almost as clueless as me! -.- ironic but true. lols.

OKies, y m I bloggin here? hahas~ coz i type faster than I rite postcards! LOLS, anyway, thanks 2 u, I'm getting rid of alot of my large collection of postcards that I collected but never use! LOLS xD thanks arh~~~ x) anyway, I realised e homework due tmr is within manageable ability. ^^ So yah, can afford 2 be here. xD

Anyway, after class CIP, we ended at 3pm by the way. (Stupid lorry!) But nvm, I'm not pissed, juz a small bit irritated it took so long to come 2 us 2 cum collect our stuff. ^^ anyway, we bonded by playing games while waiting! & we bonded by helping each other out as we moved e stuff & worked together to collect stuff. I was in a group wif 2 nice j1 gals from 2708. But later I got transferred to another team with a girl called Daphne. then she was talking loudly on the phone to her friend, & I found out that she's from New Creation! She's also christian! hahas~ so cool! ^^ Yups x_x so happy we got common belief! I think we can click well. She's really nice.

Speaking of which, I was attacked by a little black kitten while collecting newspapers. shan't elaborate. 4 details, approach the victim directly. LOLS, create suspense

I was saying...!!!! After class CIP, we went to kfc to eat. but most people left one by one. Then some of the christians in my class were talking. He doesn't like these people. So he's finding it hard not to hate them when a guy says something mean. I tried to point out that sometimes he's juz kidding. So it like... don't take it seriously. & we shouldn't let hate invade our hearts. So Michael & Evelyn (student council secretary) offered their valuable advice. It was so interesting hearing them talk. I'm lyk... *in awe* cool! Okies, I shall seek their advice more from now on. LOLS x) of course I'll seek ur advice also lahs~ ^^

I had fun bonding with my class. Thank God for this opportunity. & I got to know Daphne, Lin Yu & Naomi. ^^

I started asking the friends in my clique to evangalist service. & they are quite reluctant to go. I'm seriously not surprised. I was trying to convince them when Daddy gently reminded me that I'm saying a lot of wrong things. So I was lyk -.- haix... nvm liaos, sian, dun wana ask already. O.o no lahs -.- of course not. I was just reflecting. how 2 say so that they won't get e wrong message & I don't have e wrong mindset?

I duno why. Although I'm perfectly well aware of how much God loves all of us... I don't think everyone can feel it. I want the people around me to feel it. I want them to be saved. But there's this nagging feeling that keeps shouting out to me. Nobody can really believe unless they are really a little interested in finding out in the first place. .___. I guess that applied to me. I was slightly curious when I first went to church. & it was a weird experience =.= Some went before & had not found it very nice. obviously is not my church lahs. but they juz keep thinking it'll be e same. DUNO HOW! =.= I'm suddenly reminded of last night when CY was telling me that it's e wrong mindset to keep thinking that u cant do much coz u r new believer & still need to grow alot. BUT I do need to grow alot & I really really duno what to say or answer certain questions people ask me even till now.

I juz realised I'm 3 weeks old already. -.- this is terrible! I've only finished 1 book! I'm SO SLOW CAN???

ok tired liaos. Go do homework & sleep. See u tmr 4 prayer meet! ^^ God bless~~~

Luv, Chloe

2008-01-27T01:25:00.000+08:00

Okay! Finally i got the blog to work. So troublesome... But at least yay!! It is up! Sheepy you very naughty.... You supposed to be sleeping, but u are talking and blogging! Haha, i tell u 2morrow we both confirm die lor. So late but still haven't sleep... Especially have to meet in school at 7.10am I think we will just meet in the morning to sleep. And then at 7.40 we pray tt God give us strength so that we will not sleep! >_< Haha Anyway, 2morrow is Go-Green-Day. So its like time to spend with our friends and even with our Junior class. So lets make more friends so we can bring more people to know God!

At least your waffle 2day is strawberry. Imagine if choc again. Lols!! Guess what? I think 2day i very greedy.... EAT ALOT. I ate an Eclair at Delifrance! Chocolate! So yummy. ^_^Then i ate mac, and another Delifrance bread. But hehe, no real dinner. No wonder quite hungry right now! Lol i dunno what to blog down liao... My brain abit not working. Cos its like late. Hehe...So just wanna make a short prayer for you.

Dear God i really pray that you will bless my sheep. That 2morrow is gonna be a busy day. Especially with all the work that she has to do. I pray that you will give her the strength to do her work finish, you will give her the strength to keep awake when she is tired. God, also let 2morrow be a day, where we can mix more with our juniors and friends to get to know them better and ultimately share your gospel with them. I pray all these in your name. Amen.

Sheppy

YAY! from, Chloe

2008-01-27T00:54:00.000+08:00

Okies, this is my 1st entry here!! WAHOO!!! *fireworks blast* *fanfare plays in background*

YAY!

Hiieee, Sheppie!! ^^ HOW R U?

I ate waffles! No spillage, coz it was strawberry!!! Boo 4 chocolate which stains my skirt plus shirt! -.- HAIX

Anyway, tmr is go green day! YAY!! On a Sunday! Isn't it lyk the Sabbath? When we r supposed 2 rest?!?! WHY???? Oh well -.- What 2 do... Daddy arrange 1. What 2 do? O.o obey lorhs~ x_x stupid question. Daddy say 1 who dare dun do -.- then that person is really oh-my-skyly (new word from Chloe-tionary -hahas! that 1 oso new word!-) disobedient!!! naughty! (quoting CY) LOLS x_x

Okies, I'm tired. BUT I shall continue blogging! ^^ I juz heard Eldrick (is it spelt like this?) is gona convert this coming saturday!! WAHOO! I'm not e youngest already! ^^ YAY~~ xD hahas~ I remember him as e gentleman who help me carry my 7kg bag. But I still can't really click with him. I realise I can't click instantly with SO MANY PEOPLE at 1st -.- as in, I find it hard 2 talk 2 em. We run out of topics. So I just keep silent & wait for him/her to think of topics. =.= okie, i noe it's not correct T.T sobs... not I want 1!!! [".]

YAY! my group composed a song 2dae!!! With entirely original lyrics & tune! COOL right? I felt it was so meaningful. They invited this NTU composing team to teach us. WOW they are super cool! They can compose such nice songs & with such great lyrics! Our song won the best tune! YAY~~~ I haf it recorded in my handphone. Let u hear someday. But it's in chinese lahs x_x e tune is super catchy! The NTU people are damn good at guitar plz! they can listen 2 our song & then juz improvise & come up with such nice guitar accompanyment that is lyk, instantly think 1 but is still SUPER NICE!

This guy struck me e most. But I 4got his name. He wrote this song. About a guy singing love songs. His girlfriend left for abroad. He wrote a tune & she promised 2 fill in the lyrics for that song. But yah... she left lorhs. & so he's left alone singing love songs that don't belong to him 4 couples. & singing this song that has no lyrics only has tune.

SAD can! & I can totally 100% tell that it is a true story. so sad!!! T.T

nvm -.- so random

but yah... I miss playing guitar T.T

nvm~~shall relearn after A levels! ^^ okies, end wif quotes!! xD

When you look into the sky, you cannot see God, but if you look into your heart, you can.

If you forget to forgive, you have forgotten you are forgiven.

Unless we rely on God's power within us, we will yield to the pressures around us.

To know God is to live.

God's promises are like the stars: the darker the night, the brighter they shine.