I N S I D E - O U T

I lyk this story. It reminds me that Daddy reaches out to every single person as long as they seek Him.

God Is Under My Bed
My brother Kevin thinks God lives under his bed. At least that's what I heard him say one night. He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped outside his closed door to listen. "Are You there, God?" he said. " Where are You? Oh, I see. Under the bed. "I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room. Kevin's unique perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something else lingered long after the humor.

I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in. He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties during labor. Apart from his size (he's 6-foot-2), there are few ways in which he is an adult. He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old, and he always will. He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed, and that airplanes stay up in the sky because angels carry them. I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life? Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled, home to walk our cocker spaniel, returning to eat his favorite macaroni-and-cheese for dinner, and later to bed. The only variation in the entire scheme are laundry days, when He hovers excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn child. He does not seem dissatisfied.

He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05, eager for a day of simple work. He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove before dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his next day's laundry chores. And Saturdays - oh, the bliss of Saturdays! That's the day my dad takes Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the planes land, and speculate loudly on the destination of each passenger inside. "That one's goin' to Chi-car-go!" Kevin shouts as he claps his hands. His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights.

I don't think Kevin knows anything exists outside his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips. He doesn't know what it means to be discontent. His life is simple. He will never know the entanglements of wealth of power, and he does not care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats. He recognizes no differences in people, treating each person as an equal and a friend. His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they may not be. His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as when he is working. When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is completely in it. He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and he does not leave a job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax.

He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others. His heart is pure. He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue. Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. He is always transparent, always sincere. And he trusts God. Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God - to really be friends with Him in a way that is difficult for an "educated" person to grasp. God seems like his closest companion.

In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity, I envy the security Kevin has in his simple faith. It is then that I am most willing to admit that he has some divine knowledge that rises above my mortal questions. It is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one with the handicap - I am. My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances - they all become disabilities when I do not submit them to Christ. Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn? After all, he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence, praying after dark and soaking up the Goodness and Love of The Lord. And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we are all amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I'll realize that God heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God lived under his bed. Kevin won't be surprised at all.

----------------------------------------

Hahas, yah I noe u dun haf 2 feel Daddy 2 noe He is dere. I was juz being a whiny brat 2dae so I wanted to c 4 myself. -.- Aniwae, I've alwaz wanted 2 feel lahs, juz coz out of curiosity. Is not really doubt. Is lyk, I juz wana feel wad it's lyk 2 feel Him next 2 u. ^^ Happy I finally cud feel Him after so long. Even when I was young, I nvr really felt tat way when I pray to Him. & yar, Is true that Daddy nvr forsake me, even though I was so emo & grumpy 2dae, & dun reali wana tok 2 Him, He makes me meet His people, who all try to talk to me in an attempt to make me feel better. totally experieneced it 2dae. Wanted to go away & rot but keep seeing His people! -.- diaos =.= looks lyk if Daddy wants u, u can't run 1 -.- lols! is gd thing lahs, if not I will keep runnin from Him everytym I in bad mood. Which is lyk -.- what an unfillal daughter! later Daddy scold. hahas~ no lah, Daddy very understanding 1

Feel bad coz I had evil thoughts today. Which I'm so not proud of. Shall pray to Daddy to make e feeling & thought disappear. I dun lyk this feeling called 'jealousy.' not at all. & I feel bad about it. =( I know Daddy will alwaz find it in His heart 2 4gif us, coz He loves us so much. But I still can't get past myself 4 feeling jealous of my friend. I dun lyk e green eyed- monster. Not at all. Daddy, please remove it! I dun wana be friends with it. Okies, now I feel lyk a little girl hiding behind the Father when being chased by a mosnter or something. LOLS

LOLS ur class arh! DURIANS?!?! OH MY SKY! LOLS xD crazy people lah. *quoting Sijie = This is madness!!!* LOLS really no postcards anymore?! Then tomorrow muz bring letter pad, coz I wana rite letter to mortal. My angel is in heaven duno happily doing wad, so I haf 2 shower all my luv 2 my mortal, who is really nice & cute! ^^ I lyk her already. then again, I nvr hate any1.

Friday arh? O.o HMMM [".] I haf craving for Fish & Co but then I'm gona be broke lyk, very soon. Coz sijie's bdae is this saturday. & guess wad! we r gona plan a surprise 4 her! SO CUNNING xD lols! hmM U decide bahs

Anyway, I CANT TELL AT ALL tat ur love language is touch!!! -.- lols!!!

hahas, yah I noe Daddy is alwaz dere to share my burden. Have decided that when people cast their troubles on me, I will pray 4 em & ask Daddy 2 help em & lessen my burden. God, I love You so much! & God, I love my Sheppie oso! Thank You so much for bringing me to her! Thank You so much for letting me get to know You. & I'm gona continue & persevere as I walk with You, God. I really have so much to learn from You & your people ^^

Take care 2, my dear Sheppie & eeewww wad a bad way 2 end a post by reminding me of PE! -.- *appalled*

Luv, Sheepie ^^ who is starting 2 feel tired although she planned not 2 sleep 2nite -.-

10:27 PM;
to love You from the inside out

x x x x x x

x
x
x
x
x
x